1. full name: Doctor "Kim" Razor
2. date of birth: Probably long before anyone
else reading this...
4. hair color? None
5. eye color? Blue
6. height: 6'0
7. weight: 210 lbs
8. favorite toothpaste? Hair of the Dog
9. where do you live?: S'toon
10. school?: No thanks, I'm full...
11. sibs: 2 brothers
12. nickname: Razor, Doc
13. bf/gf? No, my wife would kill me....
14. close friends: Frog, Walnut, Ali, Fluffy,
Twinkie (yeah i know, it sounds like the fuckin muppets or
15. funniest person you know? either JayB or
16. favorite shampoo/ conditioner? Beer is good
for your hair right?
17. favorite perfume/cologne: I couldn't name
one if I wanted to
18. do you make fun of people? Always...mostly
19. whats your dream car? One just like George
20. piercings: Not since I was a stupid teenager....
21. favorite ice cream: cold
22. favorite soda: Beer
23. when is your bedtime? ...What is this
bedtime of which you speak?
24. favorite book: does the back of a cereal box
25. have you ever broken a bone? Yeah, but she
had it coming....
26. ever cheated on a test? Only a pregnancy
27. do you believe in love at first sight? only
girls and fags believe in that shit, and I'M NO FAG!
28. do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic or blah
romantic? hey, I'M NO FAG!!!
29. are you into PDAS? see 28
30. pool or hot tubs? Showers
31. thunderstorms- exciting or deadly? BOTH, the
sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminds me of
the sound of fresh blood splashing off the wall and floor.
32. tall or short? if yer talking Beer mugs, i'd
have to say tall
33. when was the last time you took a shower?
34. do you have aol? I used to, I was HORNYSLUT344368
but I quit cuz of all the fags that kept trying to cyber with me.
35. best feeling in the world: LOTS OF BEER
36. worst feeling in the world: LOTS OF BEER
37. if you could change one thing about the past what
would it be? Starting this fucking quiz...
38. do you have braces? no, but I have a cock-ring
39. if you could change one thing about yourself, what
would it be? I wish I were more sensitive and more in
touch with my feelings...NAH, FUCK THAT, I'M NO FAG!!!
40. who is your role model? Shaggy from Scooby-Doo
41. favorite fast food restaurant: McD's
42. least favorite fast food place: I love all
unhealthy food that is fast and cheap...
43. where did you go to elementary school? ...what
are you? a fuckin cop?
44. what is your most humiliating moment? see 43
45. guys, with or without hats? Only fags wear
hats (and have hair)
46. favorite soundtrack: The voices in my head...
47. 1st thought when you wake up in the morning:
either 1) "Oh no, not again..." 2) "Where the hell
am I?" or 3) "aw shit, now I gotta buy more beer."
48. where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Probably still doing this fucking quiz...
49. what religion are you? ummm...undecided
50. favorite number(s)? 667-5309
51. do you like the phone or computer better?
Phones are for fags, and Computers
52. ever had an online relationship? Do those 1-900
53. when was the last party you went to? This
quiz IS a fuckin party...
54. when was the best party ever? A party I
threw for my wife's (then gf) 19th B'day (what little I remember
of it anyway)
55. most romantic thing ever done for you: My
wife once brought me a beer...*sniff, sniff*
56. high school nicknames: Doc, Razor
57. boxers or briefs: hey, I'M NO FAG!!!
58. favorite teacher: ahhh television...teacher,
friend, secret lover....
59. least favorite teacher: well, an ex-gf of
mine taught me quite a bit about sex...but she turned out to be a
two-timing slut (go figure!)
60. favorite web site: http://rblords.com/~razor
61. do you sleep with a stuffed animal? I once
fucked a fat chic....
62. 1 pillow or 2? 1 for me and 15 for my wife (so
she stops stealing mine)
63. is the glass half empty or half full? just a
sec...... now Its fuckin empty, go get me another beer!
64. pets/names: Do crab lice count?
65. do you get along with your parents? as much
as I get along with anybody...
66. job: currently looking
67. hobbies: Drinking
68. best advice ever given: If your friend is
already dead, and being eaten by vultures, It's okay to feed some
bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do
some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the
69. words/phrases you use to much: "ehhhHHHHH!!!"
70. coolest experience(s): When I lived back in
the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster,
I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy
said something like, "Hey look. He's carrying a soldering
iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started
laughing, I'd just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron.
The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get
real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering
iron of justice, and I'd hit them up for a free drink.
71. scariest experience(s): I remember one day I
was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of
smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is,
why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you."
So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.
73. favorite summer activity: Drinking
74. have you ever gone skinny dipping?: Yes
75. fave amusement park ride: The Beer Tent
76. special skills or talents: Quarters
77. ever feel like you want to move out from your parents
and live on your own: No, but my wife made me...
78. characteristics you look for in a girl: A
nympho that loves to cook and clean....
79. favorite food: BEER
80. least favorite food: American Beer
81. favorite vacation: well, currently being
unemployed is "kinda" like a vacation...except for all
that "looking for a job" shit...
82. favorite subject: BEER
83. ever wonder why men have nipples? hey man,
I'M NO FAG!!!
84. favorite movies: Star Wars, The Matrix, and
any movie with lots of pointless sex and violence...
85. favorite part of your face: My eye boogers (I
have a collection)
86. favorite tv shows: dunno, I never watch a
whole show, I just flip
87. do you feel comfortable totally naked? nah,
I have to be wearing at least one sock (or my cock-ring)
88. favorite music: almost anything that is NOT
Country, mostly 80's metal :)
89. if you were stranded on a desert island and had food
and water and other basic necessities, what two things would you
bring along: A TV crew and 16 other people (then I would
sell the show to FOX)
90. favorite animals: Dead cow (preferably with
special sauce, lettuce, cheese, onions, pickles, on a sesame seed
91. what are you most afraid of?: Clowns, I
think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown
killed my dad.
92. favorite day of the week: Friday
93. have you ever had a near death experience?:
There were times when I was very close to death...(but no "GO
TO THE LIIIGHHHHTTTT..." shit)
95. favorite things to wear: Jeans and a t-shirt...
I'M NO FAG!!!
96. what part of yourself are you most self-conscious
97. favorite part of the newspaper: the chewy
98. would you rather do a math problem or write a poem?:
Math, I'M NO FAG!!!
99. sex before or after marriage: before and
after sounds right... everyone knows there's none DURING the
100. pro-life or pro-choice: Pro-Stars, the
breakfast cereal of champions
101. ever tried drugs: fuck off, narc...
102. do you drink?: Does the Pope shit in the
103. ever had your heart broken?: If by broken
you mean having my heart torn into tiny little fucking pieces by
a pice-of shit, low-life SLUT, WHORE, TWO-TIMING, SKANKY BITCH,
WHO I HOPE GETS A NASTY FUCKING TROPICAL DISEASE THAT EATS AWAY
AT HER SKIN FROM THE INSIDE.......then..uh...yes
104. are you happy with the way things are going right
now in your life? I'll be happier when I'm done this
105. favorite jelly belly flavor: jelly belly???
That not some kinda fuckin FAG THING is it?
106. what is the most important thing in your life?:
Beer!!! (uhh..oh yeah, and my wife and son...)
107. dominant hand: The one I don't usually type
108. favorite color?: Blurry
110. parents' names?: You are a fuckin cop ain't
111. what do you want to be?: Drunk...
112. how many kids do you want to have? I just
hope they let me keep the one I've got
113. when do you want to get married? 10 years
from now......doh! aw shit...
114. if you could meet one famous person, who would it
be? uhhh...I hear Monica Lewinsky puts out...
115. say one nice thing about the person that sent this
thing to you: Spitfire is not a complete Fag.