Mar 31, 2001

soul_d




Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:

YC Gets Pussy in Regina

Thursday night, YC travelled to the Queen city to score some pussy. For added protection from the highwaymen, YC acquired a crew of retainers consisting of The Saint, Jet D, and Audiophile. Upon arrival in regina, a visit was paid to The Saint's Wife-To-Be. Dinner was had at a Boston Pizza. After dinner, we were led by the Lady in Waiting to the location of the pussy. It was found ni a neighboored with a trailerload of trash parked in the street, and near a house with a stove sitting in the front yard. YC purchased some pussy for 50 dollars, and then made his retainers to ride all the way back to Saskatoon with it, and it smelled badly. In all fairness, the pussy was not for YC, but for his mother.


Spitfire's Supra Undefeataba

Friday night, after drinking and gambling for hours at the infamous Dino's Bar and Grill, Spitfire took his Supra to 8th st and let her rip. He raced Mustangs and Camaros, Rx7's, all kinds of riced up coups, and light rolling Neons. Spitfire took them all. He even raced a truck load of farm girls that were looking for YC. Infact, most of 8th st was looking for YC. Even the A&W had sign saying "have you tried it YC?" no doubt refering to racing on 8th St. YC is expected to challenge the Supras reign.

Unit3 Removed from NAACP's List of Homosexuals.

Last week, a representative of the NAACP released a news bulletin that Unit3 has been removed from their list of homosexuals. When reached for comment, a high ranking executive in the NAACP stateted that "it was an accident, the removal I mean." When asked why the NAACP keeps a list of people it thinks are gay, the executive hung up. It is specualted that the NAACP really doesn't like Unit3. This may have to do with the incident on Mar 25, 1996, when Unit3 burned down NAACP headquaters while screaming the lyrics to Phantom Lord by heavy metal group Metallica. Metallica is currently suing Unit3 for unlawful use of copyright material during an arson. The US Supreme Court has issued an injunction requiring Unit3 to remove copyrighted material from his brain, so as not to be used in anyway, in whole or in part, during the act of arson. Unit3 is expected to appeal this ruling. It is speculated by some experts that he will burn down the Supreme Courthouse while singing And Justice For All... "I wish Unit3 the best and I hope he does burn that courthouse down," Tom Petty said outside the 5th district courthouse where he was facing charges of ultrachronicmonstrahsaty, "that would really show those mothas where it's at."



Randy Teichroeb, from Saskatoon, had an interesting visitor at Pike Lake!

The campsite was great, close to bathrooms, lots of wood and many of nature's little animals: squirrels, a large variety of birds, some bats, frogs, and fish. I was relieved to see plenty of warnings and descriptions of poison ivy, which the kids spotted frequently on the trail behind the museum. On our last night my son Jeremy, who's 8 years old, and I were sitting in front of the barbecue pit at about 10:30pm. I heard something behind us so I turned around with the flashlight on and to our surprise we had a visitor. It was a raccoon! We have been to the park many times over the years and I have never seen a raccoon before. He was big, about the size of 3 cats full grown! My son was amazed and so was I. I told Jeremy to take the left-over hamburger and place it on the log he was using to feed the squirrels earlier. He did and sat back down. I turned off the light and Jeremy witnessed the raccoon take the hamburger! I know you are not supposed to feed the animals but when were we ever going to see this again? Then we placed marshmallows on the same log, and he came back 3 more times. Jeremy named the raccoon Ricky.


The Pike Lake Survey

This is the Third week in the Pike Lake Survey series, and so far the ball is rolling greatly. Last weekend, we asked the question My goal for this year is to:, and we bombared with imagery of destruction. This week, we'll probe a little deeper. As well, there is a special present for you on the left. It is the Pike Lake 2001 trailer. It is very high quality, and is 18.6MB. The file is best viewed full screen. It is also recommend that you DL the file completetly before viweing, scpecially if you have one of those "more better" macs that cut the end of the mpeg off and then you're left wondering why everyone else was talking about Kerri so much. Pictured Left: Columbia Pictures presents Pike Lake 2001 (click to view trailer):


The Question: Will Graeme be at pike lake this year?

The Answers:

Cayley: graeme will atemt to go, then jenifer will call from like - buttfuck idaho, and graeme will bend like ruber and go see her. I wonder if it is just a coincidence that she is callin g from BUTTFUCK
Graeme: YES GOD DAMMIT!!! The evil powers will fall before my might!!!
Clayton: I believe he will, however a more appropriate question may be "Will Graeme make it back from Pike Lake this year?"
Vance: I am highly doubting that. I foresee his car violently getting overturned in the riot at the park gates. He will be late because of Katya impaling his hand with a small knife.
Steven: Syntax Error
Darren: YES
YC: Yes I plan to throw him in the lake until he and the lake become one, hence he will be a pike like this year
Jet D: I believe that he will, I believe that the curse has been vanquished.

Jet D Comments on the Survey:
YC, Nobody likes a smart ass. (YC was poking fun of a spelling mistake in the survey form) As well, I have noticed that no one expects Graeme to remain in good health.

All Quiet on the Western Front

No one has heard much of anything from or about Cayley since his brother paid him a visit. It is suspected the the older brother has eaten the younger brother in order to gain his power. When reached for comment, The Medicine Hat RCMP gave us this statement: "What the fuck are you talking about? Stop wasting our time." Shortly after, the line went dead. We can only assume it was the ghost of Cayley interfering on behalf his his dual powered brother.

Sighting of Favorite Girl Reported.

It has been reported that Spitfire has spotted Jet D's infamous Favorite Girl. Jet D has been searching for favorite girl for he last 8 years, and has found only pain and falsities. If anyone has any inforation on the location of favorite girl, they are urged to contact the Jet D society at this location Remember it is very easy to mistake a sighting of a regular girl for favorite girl. Jet D has to follow up any possible leads, as favorite girl can only truly be identfied by him, in person. Jet D claims he will be able to feel her, not in the way that involves the police, but in the heart. Jet D also reports that he sighted a girl that was 70% probably to be favorite girl last night. This is a good sign, as sightings of girls with a 70% probability or higher have nill over the last year.
Favorite girl is reported to be some what quiet, polite, personable, and very clumsy. Favorite girl is most likely blonde with blue or green eyes, but may also have jet black hair. She enjoys dance music, and also likes the sun. "Favorite Girl is a Princess, and I must find her" says Jet D, "Also, it is probably really scary when she drives."
In other news, Jet D is feeling the effects of a virus that has slowed him down greatly. When reached for comment, Jet D said "Please don't report this because I'm really not that bad and people that seek my destrucion will now make attempts on my life because they think I am weak and are no longer afraid. Do you know how hard it is to shop for rice and lentals when people are making attempts on your life?" An editorial decision has been made to report this story, mostly because the public has a right to know, and people attacking Jet D makes for good news. Good news for Rblords, bad news for Jet D.
pictured right, a sketch of favorite girl.


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Well, that's the news and I have get down to make some calls. Graeme is gay.


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End of Updates