Jul 28, 2001


So this isn't a full update, but I am doing my best. :(

First off, my power supply is cooked, so consequently I cannot access my really really good files. I am making this update at Spitfires house. He left his door open, and I let myself in.
So what is new? YC is fast. His Chevelle is even faster, running a stunning 12.7 at the track on Friday. He took my for a ride, and it was really exciting. Especially because he is cute. Hahaha, kidding, I am not gay. But my friend, Marty, is, and he says Chris is cute, so I am taking his word for it. YC4 KING!

I spotted Deana (?) in the train yard today. She was running across the 108 and I waved at her as I drove by. She waved back. I also saw the American Badger today at the Saskatoon Zoo and Forestry Farm. I went there today with Fredish and Graeme, and we had a picnic. That was nice. It made me happy :)
This week in Hague, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will be playing at the Hague Amphitheater. Seating is limited, so make sure you get tickets now. On Wednesday, there will be dinner with Tom Petty, at the Hague Coca-Cola Diner. Fans will be able to eat hamburgers with Tom Petty, and there will be photo opportunities. Thursday Afternoon, before the concert, fans will have a chance to visit with Tom more personally. For five dollars, fans can have Tom Petty ride with them in their truck so they can take him to see their farm. All proceeds go to the Hague Center for Narcolepsy.

If any one has seen my wife would you tell her that I miss her and that I am sorry?

I suppose this update would not be complete without a Heather Poem, so here it is:

Heather and Eli Shag Shag Shag
Giggle Giggle Full Contact Tag
What the Hell Does Jason Think he's Doing?


Jul 24, 2001


Alright....I was feeling kinda bad that I had lied to all you people for the last couple weeks saying I was going to update more frequently...it's not because I don't love the site, its more because you all suck and I hate you. With that in mind, I would like you to all to check out this horrible webpage. Don't forget to check out her pics.

Okay, that was pretty harsh...I'm sorry I tricked you into going to such a horrible, horrible webpage. Something truley worse than Unit3's Page no doubt. But I shouldn't be harping on my good friend Unit3...at least he updates....not like some others.....

Anyhow, whats new with me you ask? Well, I've been at the lake almost every weekend so far this summer (well maybe not quite all of them) and I have a big trip planned for the week following the August long weekend (for all those interested my bday is on the 5th of Aug - if you feel the need to send me a present, a piano would be nice). Not sure where I'm going to yet, but I have a real bad itch to head down to yankeeville and throw rocks at some Navy Seals. Someone I talked to told me they're all wusses anyways, and everybody knows that the average canadian is 350% more kickass than they are. Therefore, logically, I'm gonna show those fuckers where they stand.... BANG!

Also, I am sad to announce that the Super Volare has gone to Volare Heaven...it was scrapped a couple weeks ago for the sum of $50, which I didn't even get to see because my dad spent it the same day. Oh well, at least I still have Unit3's station wagon...which is for sale, by the way, for the low low price of $101.50.

You know, I would give you more links but what can I say? The internet sucks! I have all this content to put up but I'm not going to bother because I'm at work right now and can't get to it. But either way, I'll update in a couple days and post some of it. hehehe yeah right....we'll see...


P.S. - Audiophile and soul_d seem to have taken over my site but I'm not going to do anything about it because I can't seem to find a way to make them stop

Jul 19, 2001


Hello once again and welcome to yet another Rblords update C/O Audiophile. Today I have some special goodies for you along with a few new stories from one of our friends living across the globe.

Before I get down to current events I would like to introduce a brand new breakthrough product that is on the market. These lovable keychains would make the perfect gift for your husband/wife, or just that special someone in your life. These wonderful little figurines come in two different styles, "Pissing Pete" and the equally cute "Bowel Movement Boris". You can pick up this product at any local Wal-Mart store.

The idea of a road trip to BC has been mulled over several times this summer by members of the Rblords staff. Although our summer seems to be passing very quickly and the opportunity for a road trip of this caliber seems to be ever so slowly whittling away. Although our seasonal summer clock keeps ticking, there still lies a good possibility for a venture of this sort. And with a venture of this magnitude there are definite dangers and risks that come along with driving the long haul through the mountains. Just this year Spitfire took a trip to Emerald Lake and his car fell apart during the 2 hour journey. Not only can mechanical problems cause grief in any journey, but trevelling such distances can litter your trip with nature's own kick in the pants. For anyone who has been driving at night and struck a bear, dog, or transient person crossing the road knows all too well the tale I will tell.

There once was a man named Steven
Who was just heading home from work
He was tired and was happy to be leavin'
He was angry cuz he was a clerk.

He closed the store and hopped into his truck
The barber had just cut his hair
Out from the darkness darted a cute little duck
Oops I was wrong it's a bear.............................. that ate him

Because of this story I will now issue a warning to those of you that plan to make a trip to BC this summer. The Rblords Newsroom has just received this code 3 warning over fascimilie to be shared with all travellers planning to visit British Columbia during the summer months. Please carry a rifle with you at all times when hiking through the woods or visiting bad areas of Vancouver. And always consider all animals a threat to your well-being. This warning is only in effect for the summer months as bears travel south for the winter.

A good friend of the Rblords team "Connor" has dropped us a line all the way from London England to fill us in on the current events. We were all very excited for Connor when she told us she was expecting a baby boy later next month. Son of Mexican drug lord, Hernandez Garcon, the child is expected to make it's entry to the world with a gun at his hip, and a stiff upper lip. The police plan to fingerprint the child shortly after birth. Keep an eye out for baby picture in later updates.

Connor, now on her second year of residence in England is rumored to be getting cuter as time passes (FCC approved), some say it's mother nature others say it's the European air. When questioned for her opinion on the matter, Connor said "It's definitely the spotted dick"

Rblords is also very happy to announce that Connor may be coming back to Saskatoon for a visit in the near future. An official press releasae will be issued if the plans solidify.

Buffy 4 Ever!

That concludes this installment of the Rblordas update, stay on the lookout for many more exciting updates available only at Rappalords Online

Have a good week and enjoy.............Toodles!

Jul 17, 2001


Your love it feels so good.
And that's what takes me high,
Higher than I've been before.
Your love, it keeps me alive.
Thought I should let you know,
That your touch, it means so much.
When I'm alone at night,
It's you I'm always thinking of.

Sonique --It Feels So Good

Jul 16, 2001


Jul 15, 2001


Summer Is Here!

Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:

Leaving Las Vegas Day at Dino's Wraps up.

Leaving Las Vegas day at Dino's produced a large turn out. The party got rolling hard and by 1:30 am, there was a full blown riot in effect. Jet D and his alleged Wife were in attendance, to which most people responded, "well, that's your opinion." Heather bought a smashing new dress for the party, and C-Hump bought everyone a multitude of drinks. Props to Ian Goodwillie for being Ian.

Friday the 13th yields no Fatalities.

Friday the 13th, Spitfire took Blue4130, Unit3, and Jet D out to an abandoned summercamp to spend the night and probably the rest of eternity. However, as scary as the lake was with the Blair Witch monuments and the blood, and the beavers, no one was killed. Everyone was simply eaten alive by Moquitoes. No one slept much that night. The highlight of the trip may have been the fireworks show put on with the wares of the wakaw esso, or it may be the dump unit3 took in the woods. Overall, it was a worthwile experience for everyone involved.

Young Chris Breaks into 12 Seconds.

YC's monster chevelle has been reported to have produced a 12.7 second quartermile at SIR on friday. Audiophile witnessed the event, and openely wept when the A-Body rocketed down the track in a cloud of smoke and hope.

Here are the three questions that will be answered today:

The Question: How did you like Pike Lake?

The Answers:

  • Graeme: I liked Friday just fine. But saturday reminded me why I hate camping and why I only go once a year.
  • Cayley: Fun when weather >> ((sun + cold_lake)/rain)*booze
  • Clayton: A very unique year, indeed. 2001 became the first annual Pike Lake venture to include a wedding...of course said wedding neither occured in the park grounds, nor involved any of the participants of the pike lake trip. Either way, it was a boss time.
  • Vance: I thought it was the worst one. My car died and it rained all weekend, and then got nice when we left.
  • Dog Pound: Other then the shitass weather it was pretty good. Not everyday you get to see Fred drunk as a skunk, and Darren macking till he passes out :) Oh and Dallas making out with dogs
  • Connor: Well i didnt join you in pike lake. so i guess i didnt enjoy it =(
  • Kujo: It didn't win
  • Jet D: It hurt a lot.
  • Fredish: Heh, Pike Lake is evil. I loved Pike Lake.
  • YC: It was not as good as I thought it would be, and I missed the only good day (friday) because I had to work.
  • Darren: Other than the weather, it was fun.
  • I-Gene: would've been better if I could be there, but I KISS YOU

The Question: Who is Darren Mill's and what is he really doing here?

The Answers:

  • Graeme: He's the illegitimate son of Shaft, and he's here to mack the ladies. MACK FRENZY 2001!
  • Cayley: Super FBI Ninja Operative, Collecting women for Mars
  • Clayton: Darren Mills, ancestor of the great General Edgar J Mills of the 5th regiment of her Majesty's Royal Navy...
    Edgar, Edgar on a boat,
    will it sink or will it float?
    Too bad no-one really cares,
    because he's an old fart that nobody cares about.
    I need some fucking cereal!
  • Vance: Darren Mill's has come to cause chaos in an otherwise normal suburb of Saskatoon, known as Sutherland. I have seen him at it, Running around with big power tools screaming obscenities.
  • Dog Pound: hehehehe, If i told you that, then I would be in serious trouble. All I know is that it revolves around becoming a bitter man, who eats DAIRY QUEEN all day, just to punish himself It's his dream to own a Big Van, listen to metal, and have a sweet front yard of rock. He wants to get a bike so him and Daniel can ride to the store together and get books on how to learn Kung Fu. He also wants to pickup every single mom in the county. YOU THINK I'M SCUM!!!!
  • Connor: Darren Mills is one slick mother fucker who was brought to saskatoon for the sole purpose of making the ladies drool and perform raunchy lap dances to the music of chicago.
  • Kujo: Darren Mills is the mackin'est mother fucker. He is here to show the rest of the world how to mack and why we should be doing it on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
  • Jet D: He has come to collect the crappy gray subs and replace them with cool red subs or awesome yellow ones. Someday, he'll bring out the wicked green sub, and then the continent will be renamed Northern Mills Land.
  • Fredish: He is a mystical being out to save all mankind from the evils that The Humps are trying to inflict upon us. Much like Jet Di, he protects frredom and justice, just in a more socially unacceptable manner. >
  • YC: Darren is really a secret agent from nunuvit, his mission, see why nobody wants nunuvit and put a stop to it. Secondary objective, try and get anybody with a reasonably fast car to get as many racing tickets over the summer as possible.
  • Darren: Darren Mill and I go way back. I can assure you, he moved to Saskatoon because it has a weir. Aside from that he is actively searching for Erin Jabusch.
  • I-Gene: He was on a secret mission to kidnap the Super-Volare but now he just wants on Shannon Johns (but Vance has already been on her)

The Question: Upon his election to King, What is the first thing YC should do?

The Answers:

  • Graeme: I don't know what he should do, but I know what he's gonna do: make natives pay tax.
  • Cayley: Make native people pay tax
  • Clayton: Appoint myself as treasurer.
  • Vance: Erect a drag strip on 8th and proceed to slaughter all the 5.0's
  • Dog Pound: Invent the land where skinny hot girls are considered ugly
  • Connor: Im not sure who YC is, but if its that chris guy, he should be nicer to people
  • Kujo: Kick the shit out of the queen
  • Jet D: Put his face on our license plates.
  • Fredish: Issue a warrent for Spitfire arrest and then lock him up in town square (AKA Superstore parking lot)
  • YC: Do a victory lap on 8th street, running down as many nates as possible.
  • Darren: Appoint a panel of personal service wenches!
  • I-Gene: YC???? Jello guy??? The guy who taught me computer architecture??

Pictures of Jet D's Camaro
Part of the Summer Survey was a question asking for a picture of what Jet D's Camaro should look like when it is done. Move your mouse over the picture to reveal the artist's identity.

Clayton Darren Dog Pound Graeme YC Fredish Cayley Jet D

The Commitee responds:
Kid Rock:
Shit one more time!
Sean Connery:
I have one question:
What the fuck
is with that duck?
Jet D:
It looks like my car will need an awful lot of bodywork to get anywhere close to looking like these pictures.
Jon Voigt:
I was down at Pike Lake for a while last wednesday night. I had just purchased a new tent from Wal Star Mart, and I was tryuing it out. It set up without dificulty, and was comfortable. I slept good at night, but in the morning a large dog came and urinated on the tent.

Note: The opinions of Kid Rock, Sean Connery, Jet D, and Jon Voigt are not necessarily the opinions of Rblords.com, the CEO and shareholders of Rblords.com, or the ISP providing net access for Rblords.com. Rblords.com accepts no liability in whole or in part for the opinions of the above stated. In fact, those responsible for the hiring of the committee have been sacked. Mr. Reynolds has also been sacked. Those responsible for the sacking of Mr. Reynolds have been Rowshamboed. Mr. Reynolds would like to thank the following people who did not sack him: "Check out Steven's Back."


Heather dances in the bar,
Heather drives in her car,
Heather throws shotputs very far,

The Jet D Weekly:

It has been an incredible couple of weeks in the world of Jet D since the last update. So far, Jet D has rocked hard through the Leaving Las Vegas 9 days, finnishing at Dino's with some serious drinking. Jet D has slept at an abandoned Summer Camp on the night of Friday the 13th. Jet D has rocked hard to Bif Naked at the Odeon. Jet D has met some stellar girls. Jet D has gotten married. Jet D has rocked hard with Shea Adonis. Jet D has visited the Patricia Hotel. Jet D has spotted Fiston Kabwe. Oh, and the boys are back in town.
Jet D says that the smartest girls are at these bars: Champs, The Sutherland Hotel (thursday night only), and The Odeon.

Bryce Sasko's hot or not rating at publishing time: 8.4

Nokia Cell Phone $25 OBO

Nokia Cell Phone, good condition
All resonable offers considered.
Seller agrees to pay shipping.
(306) 230-6173
Cellular Phone may not be exactly as pictured

I am so very glad right now that I have returned Sean Connery's Penis Mightier.

Well, that's the news and I have to work off a hangover. Graeme is gay.

Jul 12, 2001


Well it's time to update Rblords one more time. This update is dedicated to those truly girly men out there...

About a week ago our good friend Erin Winkler came to visit us on her way home from her European super tour. She was healthy and happy as always. After spending the remainder of the night standing in a parking lot looking good, the clan headed to YC's crib to continue the festivities. One question led to another and Jet D was cornered by Erin with the sacred question.... "Are you seeing anyone?" to which Jet D replied "The list is too long" and "FUCK YOU MILLS". Later on that night in a fit of passion Spitfire and Erin were off to the McDonalds to pick-up a hearty late night meal. The eats were yum yum.

Saskatoon was in a state of panic when it lost track of the infamous Dog Pound. Seems he wandered off for quite some time and was not spotted until a week after his disappearance. When questioned where Dog Pound had been he replied "I'm working at Nordon, gots to make me some child support money"

Unit3, once a well mannered young man spending much of his time studying for school or assembling model "Degrassi High" figurines is now spending time in a rehabilitation facitily for his DUI/Stolen Car/KOP KILLA charges. Anyone that would like to visit him at the city rehab clinic can find him in room "BUSTACAP 101"

George thought Eli and Jason were a couple and liked to cuddle on the big comfy couch? But Eli proved him wrong cuz he has a girlfriend! Jason is sad.

Jet D held a BAD ASS MAD PROPS 4th of July party at his residence. The party showed many signs of a typical Trembach Shanana Gana Mana. It was big, loud, bright with fire, drunked, and complete with a visit from the police and finished with a yard full of scattered sickened drunkards. Contact Jet D for the next scheduled shindig!

YC is scheduled to run a 12.XXX second quarter mile this weekend at SIR with his super-chariot and NEW! gummy wide slicks. The only thing stopping him from running anything slower that 12's is a broken engine. Dog Pound is also rumored to be visiting SIR to show dem fools a thing or two with his Explorer. The more the merrier. Spitfire may join the line-up of racers if he is hounded enough to bring his Supra, so please feel free to e-mail him as many requests as possible.

Last night while at the tail end of the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" I received a call from someone. Not paying attention to who it is, the answering machine comes on and it's a Donna! So I pick up the phone and she invites me down to visit her at Champs. This being the kickinest ass girl that exists I agree and visit her at Champs. What can I say that happened? Nothing really, we just talked and goofed off for about a half an hour and Dallas took her home. There is no real moral to this story, nor is there a point... but man Donna rocks!

Blue4130 has recently uncovered a special power he was born with and is training himself to use it properly. It was first discovered while working on YC's car stereo. It gives him the ability to bend his body in any combination of ways and fit into any abnormal area where no human could dream of going.... like the dash of a car.

Bose Super Bass Cannons, sold exclusively at Dahliwahl's Audio Bonanza Blowout!

Have a good weekend and enjoy....... Toodles!

Jul 09, 2001


Alright...here I am, and the regular updates will be starting again (honest). Dr. Razor has been giving me a really hard time over not updating, and I'm starting to feel that if I don't start right away, he's gonna shoot me. And nobody likes to get shot...now do they?

Anyhow, I made it out to the lake this weekend (Blackstrap) and had one hell of a time, picked the perfect day to go as well...going to the lake has totally changed since I got myself a boat, there's just that many more things to do now. Of course, now with a boat I feel like I HAVE to go to the lake each and every weekend...

I should note right now, that there may be some downtime in the future...possibly not until the end of summer though. The problem is, since I moved I left the server at my parents' place, and I'd kinda like to have it here with me (and so would they). However, I'd like to upgrade the server, possibly re-install it, when the time comes to move it over here. I will probably be switching to Debian Linux over RedHat. Why? Mostly because I'm sick of the over-commercialization and bloatedness of Redhat. I'd still reccomend RH to anyone new to linux, but the truth is there are better detros out there. Who knows, maybe I'll try out OpenBSD again...

Hey, I've finally found somebody (other than Unit3) to blame all of my problems on!!

Speaking of problems, my favorite car site has suddenly vanished! SpecialCar.com, after operating for 5 1/2 years seems to have bitten the bullet...which is too bad because I loved browsing the site to see what new Ferrari's are going for! :)

This site hadn't been artistic enough lately, so I searched hi and low on the internet (for about 5 minutes) to bring you this wonderful piece of artwork. Stare at it really hard and see what you can make out...


Hopefully that keeps you all happy for a little while, go check out the Discussion Board for some fun, and don't forget to check out Razor Sharp for some pics of Razor's new offspring. Exciting stuff....anyhow I'm off....word to your mother.

Jul 02, 2001


This is a suppliomental update. Due to technical difficulties I was unable to post one of Darren's answers to the survey questions. Here is his explaination of the picture "sunsets." See the weekend update below to view the picture.

This picture is a love story in itself. I can see the feeling the artist had poured into this emotional masterpiece. If you read between the lines and pay close attention to the details the artist has included in this genius painting, you will see that in the sunset, Jet D was clearly thinking of one thing..Dea. But as you can see, the sun is conflicting in great contrast with the water, which once again is a representation of it's own, that being Fred. The battle of color depicted in this painting leads me to believe that the sun and water are fighting to be as one. Jet D added this duel of color to depict his plethora of desires for these two women. On one hand he wants Dea and Fred to fight for the fruits of the Anaconda, but on the other hand he promotes peace and love in which case the duel of color also promotes lesbian activity. I get goosebumps even thinking of the emotion that flow from the hands of the artist. And finally, when attention is paid to the look on Jet D's face in the painting you can see his confusion. This depiction in so clear, it's as if he'd wrote the words in a thought bubble over his head. "Man, lets go to Macs"


Previous 5 Updates