Hello everyone, and welcome to another Rblords update care of yours truly, Audiophile.
It seems as if the nice weather has been keeping everyone away from their computers and out watching women buy groceries in IGA with their bikini's on. It was so hot out yesterday that the transient Indians of 22nd street got their fifteen minutes of fame when the Star Phoenix put them on the front cover of the paper after holding a rain dance outside the Albany. When Star Phoenix reporter asked why the rain dance took place, Denton Prickleybush replied "Cuz the fucking sidewalk is burning my feet, and I don't have any shoes".
Hmmm bear with me, the evidently nude pictures above are supposed to be pictures of girls in bikini's to go along with my previous comment about bikini's but they don't seem to be displaying properly. I'm working on it!
In other news, YC gets a very very young pussy to have around the house keeping him busy after those long days at work. It's very hairy and cute, and smells good so YC does not have allergies yet, lets keep our fingers crossed. The picture above is an actual picture, notice YC is black, he has been outside all weekend!
I would like to talk a little bit about car stereos today. As you will see from the picture above, this goes against..... ARGH...another nude picture!! Ok as you will see from the picture BELOW this stereo goes against everything I believe in. As a general rule I never considered sitting in front of a bass vent a good idea, nor do I believe that it would raise the sound quality of your stereo. Call me crazy but I thought this was common sense. Another thing, do you notice hanging on the seats are ear protectors, maybe I'm just out to lunch but does this not contradict the whole point of porting bass directly into your ears. If you are a mungoloid and like nearly putting your head into your speaker enclosure why would you wear ear protection? I never imagined such a stereo would exist, and I certainly didn't think it would be desirable. It's ideas like this that keep company's like Bose and Kicker in business.
On another note, Connor Prediger, a friend of the Rblords staff residing in London (not Ontario) has made another exciting announcement. Connor was scheduled to make another stop in Saskatoon around Christmas time, but yesterday she announced that whe will be moving back to Saskatoon to stay. Her husband was caught selling a over a ton of herion last Friday and has been sentenced to 6 life terms in prison and "no chance in bloody hell" of paroll. Connor is still scheduled to be coming back at Christmas, and rumors are that she will be looking for a new husband under the tree.
Spitfire and his girlfriend Dawn have headed off into the wild yonder to explore the land of our neighbours to the south. That's right they are touring the United States with the Super Supra with just over a week's holidays. Spitfire reports he has already received a body cavity search in three states probably due to his suspicious character. After hearing this I set-up an interview with one of the State troopers that initiated the cavity search and asked him why he would search Spitfire in such a way, his response was "The bastard was really asking for it". I then asked him "What did Spitfire do that required a cavity search", he replied "Nothing, I told you he asked me if I could search him from b'hind, so I did!"
This just in from the Rblords newscenter, Dallas is reported to be inviting all that know him by name or face to Canora this Saturday where his parents will be whooping it up to the whee hours of the morning in celebration of their day of marriage. Dallas and his parents kick so much ass that you CANNOT miss it. Bring a case of whoop ass to the party cuz Tom will smack you if you don't!
That concludes this Rblords update, stay posted for furture updates, cuz there will be some.... promise!
So this isn't a full update, but I am doing my best. :(
First off, my power supply is cooked, so consequently I cannot access my really really good files. I am making this update at Spitfires house.
He left his door open, and I let myself in.
So what is new? YC is fast. His Chevelle is even faster, running a stunning 12.7 at the track on Friday. He took my for a ride, and it was really exciting.
Especially because he is cute. Hahaha, kidding, I am not gay. But my friend, Marty, is, and he says Chris is cute, so I am taking his word for it. YC4 KING!
I spotted Deana (?) in the train yard today. She was running across the 108 and I waved at her as I drove by. She waved back. I also saw the American Badger today at
the Saskatoon Zoo and Forestry Farm. I went there today with Fredish and Graeme, and we had a picnic. That was nice. It made me happy :)
This week in Hague, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will be playing at the Hague Amphitheater. Seating is limited, so make sure you get tickets now. On Wednesday,
there will be dinner with Tom Petty, at the Hague Coca-Cola Diner. Fans will be able to eat hamburgers with Tom Petty, and there will be photo opportunities. Thursday Afternoon, before the concert, fans will have a chance to visit with Tom more personally. For five dollars, fans can have Tom Petty ride with them in their truck so they can take him to see their farm. All proceeds go to the Hague Center for Narcolepsy.
If any one has seen my wife would you tell her that I miss her and that I am sorry?
I suppose this update would not be complete without a Heather Poem, so here it is:
Heather and Eli Shag Shag Shag
Giggle Giggle Full Contact Tag
What the Hell Does Jason Think he's Doing?
Alright....I was feeling kinda bad that I had lied to all you people for the last couple weeks saying
I was going to update more frequently...it's not because I don't love the site, its more because you all suck and I hate you. With
that in mind, I would like you to all to check out this horrible
webpage. Don't forget to check out her pics.
Okay, that was pretty harsh...I'm sorry I tricked you into going to such a horrible, horrible webpage. Something truley worse than Unit3's Page no
doubt. But I shouldn't be harping on my good friend Unit3...at least he updates....not like some others.....
Anyhow, whats new with me you ask? Well, I've been at the lake almost every weekend so far this summer (well maybe not quite all of them) and I have a big trip
planned for the week following the August long weekend (for all those interested my bday is on the 5th of Aug - if you feel the need to send me a present, a piano would be nice). Not
sure where I'm going to yet, but I have a real bad itch to head down to yankeeville and throw rocks at some Navy Seals. Someone I talked to told me they're all wusses anyways, and
everybody knows that the average canadian is 350% more kickass than they are. Therefore, logically, I'm gonna show those fuckers where they stand.... BANG!
Also, I am sad to announce that the Super Volare has gone to Volare Heaven...it was scrapped a couple weeks ago for the sum of $50, which
I didn't even get to see because my dad spent it the same day. Oh well, at least I still have Unit3's station wagon...which is for sale, by the way, for the
low low price of $101.50.
You know, I would give you more links but what can I say? The internet sucks! I have all this content to put up but I'm not going to bother because I'm at work right now and can't get to it. But either way,
I'll update in a couple days and post some of it. hehehe yeah right....we'll see...
SEE YA SUCKERS!!
P.S. - Audiophile and soul_d seem to have taken over my site but I'm not going to do anything about it because I can't seem to find a way to make them stop
Hello once again and welcome to yet another Rblords update C/O Audiophile. Today I have some special goodies for you along with a few new stories from one of our friends living across the globe.
Before I get down to current events I would like to introduce a brand new breakthrough product that is on the market. These lovable keychains would make the perfect gift for your husband/wife, or just that special someone in your life. These wonderful little figurines come in two different styles, "Pissing Pete" and the equally cute "Bowel Movement Boris". You can pick up this product at any local Wal-Mart store.
The idea of a road trip to BC has been mulled over several times this summer by members of the Rblords staff. Although our summer seems to be passing very quickly and the opportunity for a road trip of this caliber seems to be ever so slowly whittling away. Although our seasonal summer clock keeps ticking, there still lies a good possibility for a venture of this sort. And with a venture of this magnitude there are definite dangers and risks that come along with driving the long haul through the mountains. Just this year Spitfire took a trip to Emerald Lake and his car fell apart during the 2 hour journey. Not only can mechanical problems cause grief in any journey, but trevelling such distances can litter your trip with nature's own kick in the pants. For anyone who has been driving at night and struck a bear, dog, or transient person crossing the road knows all too well the tale I will tell.
There once was a man named Steven
Who was just heading home from work
He was tired and was happy to be leavin'
He was angry cuz he was a clerk.
He closed the store and hopped into his truck
The barber had just cut his hair
Out from the darkness darted a cute little duck
Oops I was wrong it's a bear.............................. that ate him
Because of this story I will now issue a warning to those of you that plan to make a trip to BC this summer. The Rblords Newsroom has just received this code 3 warning over fascimilie to be shared with all travellers planning to visit British Columbia during the summer months. Please carry a rifle with you at all times when hiking through the woods or visiting bad areas of Vancouver. And always consider all animals a threat to your well-being. This warning is only in effect for the summer months as bears travel south for the winter.
A good friend of the Rblords team "Connor" has dropped us a line all the way from London England to fill us in on the current events. We were all very excited for Connor when she told us she was expecting a baby boy later next month. Son of Mexican drug lord, Hernandez Garcon, the child is expected to make it's entry to the world with a gun at his hip, and a stiff upper lip. The police plan to fingerprint the child shortly after birth. Keep an eye out for baby picture in later updates.
Connor, now on her second year of residence in England is rumored to be getting cuter as time passes (FCC approved), some say it's mother nature others say it's the European air. When questioned for her opinion on the matter, Connor said "It's definitely the spotted dick"
Rblords is also very happy to announce that Connor may be coming back to Saskatoon for a visit in the near future. An official press releasae will be issued if the plans solidify.
Buffy 4 Ever!
That concludes this installment of the Rblordas update, stay on the lookout for many more exciting updates available only at Rappalords Online
Your love it feels so good.
And that's what takes me high,
Higher than I've been before.
Your love, it keeps me alive.
Thought I should let you know,
That your touch, it means so much.
When I'm alone at night,
It's you I'm always thinking of.
Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:
Leaving Las Vegas Day at Dino's Wraps up.
Leaving Las Vegas day at Dino's produced a large turn out. The party got rolling hard and by 1:30 am, there was a full blown riot
in effect. Jet D and his alleged Wife were in attendance, to which most people responded, "well, that's your opinion." Heather
bought a smashing new dress for the party, and C-Hump bought everyone a multitude of drinks. Props to Ian Goodwillie for being Ian.
Friday the 13th yields no Fatalities.
Friday the 13th, Spitfire took Blue4130, Unit3, and Jet D out to an abandoned summercamp to spend the night and probably the rest of
eternity. However, as scary as the lake was with the Blair Witch monuments and the blood, and the beavers, no one was killed.
Everyone was simply eaten alive by Moquitoes. No one slept much that night. The highlight of the trip may have been the fireworks
show put on with the wares of the wakaw esso, or it may be the dump unit3 took in the woods. Overall, it was a worthwile experience
for everyone involved.
Young Chris Breaks into 12 Seconds.
YC's monster chevelle has been reported to have produced a 12.7 second quartermile at SIR on friday. Audiophile witnessed the event,
and openely wept when the A-Body rocketed down the track in a cloud of smoke and hope.
Here are the three questions that will be answered today:
How did you like Pike Lake?
I liked Friday just fine. But saturday reminded me why I hate camping
and why I only go once a year.
Fun when weather >> ((sun + cold_lake)/rain)*booze
A very unique year, indeed. 2001 became the first annual Pike Lake venture
to include a wedding...of course said wedding neither occured in the park
grounds, nor involved any of the participants of the pike lake trip. Either
way, it was a boss time.
I thought it was the worst one. My car died and it rained all weekend, and
then got nice when we left.
Other then the shitass weather it was pretty good. Not everyday you get to
see Fred drunk as a skunk, and Darren macking till he passes out :)
Oh and Dallas making out with dogs
Well i didnt join you in
pike lake. so i guess i didnt enjoy it =(
It didn't win
It hurt a lot.
Heh, Pike Lake is evil. I loved Pike Lake.
It was not as good as I thought it would be, and I missed the only good day
(friday) because I had to work.
Other than the weather, it was fun.
would've been better if I could be there, but I KISS YOU
Who is Darren Mill's and what is he really doing here?
He's the illegitimate son of Shaft, and he's here to mack the ladies.
MACK FRENZY 2001!
Super FBI Ninja Operative,
Collecting women for Mars
Darren Mills, ancestor of the great General Edgar J Mills of the 5th
regiment of her Majesty's Royal Navy...
Edgar, Edgar on a boat,
will it sink or will it float?
Too bad no-one really cares,
because he's an old fart that nobody cares about.
I need some fucking cereal!
Darren Mill's has come to cause chaos in an otherwise normal suburb of
Saskatoon, known as Sutherland. I have seen him at it, Running around with
big power tools screaming obscenities.
hehehehe, If i told you that, then I would be in serious trouble. All I
know is that it revolves around becoming a bitter man, who eats DAIRY QUEEN
all day, just to punish himself It's his dream to own a Big Van,
listen to metal, and have a sweet front yard of rock. He wants to get a
bike so him and Daniel can ride to the store together and get books on how
to learn Kung Fu. He also wants to pickup every single mom in the county.
YOU THINK I'M SCUM!!!!
Darren Mills is one slick mother fucker who was brought to saskatoon for the
sole purpose of making the ladies drool and perform raunchy lap dances to
the music of chicago.
Darren Mills is the mackin'est mother fucker. He is here to show the
rest of the world how to mack and why we should be doing it on a daily,
if not hourly, basis.
He has come to collect the crappy gray subs and replace them with cool red subs or awesome yellow ones. Someday, he'll bring out
the wicked green sub, and then the continent will be renamed Northern Mills Land.
He is a mystical being out to save all mankind from the evils that The
Humps are trying to inflict upon us. Much like Jet Di, he protects frredom
and justice, just in a more socially unacceptable manner.
Darren is really a secret agent from nunuvit, his mission, see why nobody
wants nunuvit and put a stop to it. Secondary objective, try and get
anybody with a reasonably fast car to get as many racing tickets over the
summer as possible.
Darren Mill and I go way back. I can assure you, he moved to Saskatoon
because it has a weir. Aside from that he is actively searching for Erin
He was on a secret mission to kidnap the Super-Volare but now he just
wants on Shannon Johns (but Vance has already been on her)
Upon his election to King, What is the first thing YC should do?
I don't know what he should do, but I know what he's gonna do: make
natives pay tax.
Make native people pay tax
Appoint myself as treasurer.
Erect a drag strip on 8th and proceed to slaughter all the 5.0's
Invent the land where skinny hot girls are considered ugly
Im not sure who YC is, but if its that chris guy, he should be nicer to
Kick the shit out of the queen
Put his face on our license plates.
Issue a warrent for Spitfire arrest and then lock him up in town square
(AKA Superstore parking lot)
Do a victory lap on 8th street, running down as many nates as possible.
Appoint a panel of personal service wenches!
YC???? Jello guy??? The guy who taught me computer architecture??
Pictures of Jet D's Camaro
Part of the Summer Survey was a question asking for a picture of what Jet D's Camaro should look like when it is done. Move your
mouse over the picture to reveal the artist's identity.
The Commitee responds:
Shit one more time!
I have one question:
What the fuck
is with that duck?
It looks like my car will need an awful lot of bodywork to get anywhere close to looking like these pictures.
I was down at Pike Lake for a while last wednesday night. I had just purchased a new tent from Wal Star Mart, and I was tryuing it
out. It set up without dificulty, and was comfortable. I slept good at night, but in the morning a large dog came and urinated on
Note: The opinions of Kid Rock, Sean Connery, Jet D, and Jon Voigt are not necessarily the opinions of Rblords.com, the CEO and
shareholders of Rblords.com, or the ISP providing net access for Rblords.com. Rblords.com accepts no liability in whole or in part
for the opinions of the above stated. In fact, those responsible for the hiring of the committee have been sacked. Mr. Reynolds
has also been sacked. Those responsible for the sacking of Mr. Reynolds have been Rowshamboed. Mr. Reynolds would like to thank
the following people who did not sack him: "Check out Steven's Back."
THE HEATHER POEM
Heather dances in the bar,
Heather drives in her car,
Heather throws shotputs very far,
BUT WHY THE HELL WON'T SHE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!?!?!?
The Jet D Weekly:
It has been an incredible couple of weeks in the world of Jet D since the last update. So far, Jet D has rocked hard through the
Leaving Las Vegas 9 days, finnishing at Dino's with some serious drinking. Jet D has slept at an abandoned Summer Camp on the night
of Friday the 13th. Jet D has rocked hard to Bif Naked at the Odeon. Jet D has met some stellar girls. Jet D has gotten married.
Jet D has rocked hard with Shea Adonis. Jet D has visited the Patricia Hotel. Jet D has spotted Fiston Kabwe. Oh, and the boys
are back in town. Jet D says that the smartest girls are at these bars: Champs, The Sutherland Hotel (thursday night only), and
Bryce Sasko's hot or not rating at publishing time:
Nokia Cell Phone $25 OBO
Nokia Cell Phone, good condition
All resonable offers considered.
Seller agrees to pay shipping.
(306) 230-6173 Cellular Phone may not be exactly as pictured
I am so very glad right now that I have returned Sean Connery's Penis Mightier.
Well, that's the news and I have to work off a hangover. Graeme is gay.