Jun 01, 2000


Attack from EJ

Finally, a sign of life from EJ. It seems that my old friend Larmal has developed a funny little script that sends hatemails to me. Sounds original, hey? :)

Either way, a simple forwarding rule is now sending them all back to him so I have nothing to worry about, I actually encourage you all to fill it out, but instead of finding the script on their site please follow this link so that they get less pageviews and therfore get less revenue.

Larmal claims there is an even bigger surprise coming, I just can't wait! This is so exciting!

"A weak man, protects not only his weakness, but cover's it with his own strengths. Strengths that do not exist, are only showing the true heart of a coward"

-Dog Pound (in his younger days)
Also, the hatemail button has been upgraded to Version 2.0 ... meaning that now for every press Jay B receives about 20 emails and so does larmal. Emails to Skinny pElvis have been bouncing...seems his account has been disabled or something.

The War is Over

My friends, I believe everything to be done in this war has been done.

In summary, I created a hatemail button on rappablords and introduced the idea of floodpinging EJ, which I honestly didn't think would effect them whatsoever but Larmal claims it took down the site for a day so hey, bonus. Larmal then informed me that he had a devious, evil plan to get back at me which turned out to be just a copy of the hatemail button I made, but this time in a form. I heard this took him all day to code which is really quite funny as a simple forwarding rule on my linux box shot all those emails right back to him. I sometimes tire of being the best.

I then took it upon myself to rip of EJs site design, and I did so manually using nothing more than a text editor. This took a couple hours and personally I can't wait to get back to my original design. By personally skimming through all the source php and html code on the EJ pages I can say without a doubt that this is the most inefficient, cluttered mess of html that I have ever seen in my life! No wonder it doesn't load properly in Netscape. Got news for you guys, drop Dreamweaver and learn how to code html on your own.

Through this war I have made new enemies, namely Skinny Elvis. I would like to take this time to thank SE for his generous compliments to my site, an accomplishment that I believe earns me the right to call myself a jerk. An 'Extreme Jerk' if you will. Larmal and JayB have not only sold out repeatedly, but have consistently maintained a site that not only displays the gayest blue colors in the spectrum proudly and boldly, but hosts articles which with the possible exception of Jerky Clay, have no 'Extreme'ness to them at all. Even now that they are hosted on the notoriously slow bla-bla servers and have permission to use any content they want, there has been very little change in their content at all.

I don't know what to say guys, except that I expected better from you. I end this war now by my own forfeit, because there is nothing more to gain. I have proven that I, Spitfire of Rappablords, am the only EXTREME JERK in this war, and that in itself is reason enough to celebrate. A bid you all goodnight!

May 31, 2000


Well, its been a long month (for me anyway) but it's finally over. Went to see Mission Impossible II tonight, it wasn't bad but it could have been much more original.

It seems JayB has an opinion of my recent attacks towards him. If he had any communication with Larmal then he may have noticed him posting this in my message board...

Spitfire you asshole! Our site isn't even loading today.... you fucker..... floodping me will you? you fucking cunt... I'm gonna kick yer ass right before I fuck it.

Of course, I too suspected that nothing would come out of the attack but supposedly it did so hey, nice surprise. As for the emails, they were going to jayb@extremejerks.com, which I just remembered is no longer active because with your awesome webspace provider you can only have one, lame email account.

Also, I was promised a quick and sweet revenge, however you keep me waiting. My friends, this war is growing stale. If revenge is a dish best served cold, there would be no finer time than now. Freakin' -5C out there gah...

I am sorry for the lame update but I have a job interview tomorrow and I need time to get ready so see all you idiots tomorrow. Watch out for tomorrow's update, its going to be a good one. That is, if my site is able to sustain the inevitable wrath of the l33t haX0rs at EJ.

May 30, 2000


Hmmmm...now this whole EJ<->Rappablords war is getting interesting. To tell you the truth, this whole thing started out as a little joke between sites to help gain a few more hits but I'm afraid it has become much more than that. You see, even though I have been trying to defend Larmal lately, he has turned against me. I think it is about time that everybody out there take a good look at who is a really good friend of theirs and who would stab them in the back the first chance they got.

No matter.

Current word is that they are going to do something 'aweful' to my site tomorrow, I just can't wait. Why? Because I happen to know that I am twice the l33t HaX0r JayB ever will be, and will get him back twice as worse even if it means sacrificing the Rappablords website.

Oh, and seems as though Rappablords has aquired a new enemy, Skinny pElvis. I don't know whats funnier, the fact that some gay little excuse of an internet script kiddie managed to wrestle the mouse away from his slut of a mother for just long enough to post a complaint about my site, or the fact that in an estatic rage of incoherent self-ratification and pro-countenance, this weasle of a character managed to concoct some pitiful 'nickname' which does nothing more than represent the obvious incompetence and embarrasing proportions of his own penis.

Either way, I am happy to announce that now everytime the hatemail button is pushed (now moved onto the sidebar), Jay B will be sent one email and Skinny pElvis will be sent 3. Also, both Jay and Skinny pElvis will be signed up for free online subscriptions to YM.

I just got this email from Unit3:

--- extremejerks.com ping statistics ---
57255 packets transmitted, 53499 packets received, +1634 duplicates,
6% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max = 62.6/98.8/566.3 ms

Good work everybody, keep up the attack and don't stop until they quit being so grumpy about it.

Anyhow, enough about the war already, thats getting old. How about some more pleasant material such as a guy getting sprayed with water or everybody's favorite: guy gets baseball bat in the groin.

Don't forget to post your comments in the new discussion board...

May 29, 2000


Boo hoo, looks like Rappablords may just have to shut down because Jay B is going to rat me out to the @home network. Little does he know, I actually have a contract with @home, who gets 50% of all profits made by this site.

And perhaps I was being a bit rash by poking fun at the loading speed of Extreme Jerks, but you'd think that a corporate webhosting service would be able to supply adequate bandwidth...especially more than my wimpy little P200 on a cable line can...but then again I don't get near as many hits as they do. Also, as days go by I feel more and more sorry for that poor Larmal fellow, who is the true heart behind EJ and always has been. A dark shadow past over the EJ site the day that he allowed JayB to do updates. tsk tsk.

I would like to take a moment to dedicate today's update to my personal hero, Larmal, a man of dreams, a man of mystery, and most of all the man behind everything that EJ once stood for. It is truely sad that their site had to sellout as it did, but I hope that we could all remember the site it once was, when it was all about rock and roll. Is there something you can do you ask? Why yes, there is!

Today is EJ Denial of Service day!!

Many people do not know how easy it is to annoy other sites and sometimes even take them down. Today I encourage everyone to help bring down EJ. How? It's easy!

If you are using linux (preferred) or some derivative of a Unix-style operating system, and you have access to the 'root' account, simply type the following line:

ping -f extremejerks.com

For best results, this command should be left executing for at least 24 hours. If you are using a windows machine, this gets a little bit more difficult. Windows does not come with built in functionality to floodping other people, but you CAN still ping them. As of right now (3:00AM May 29th) I am beginning my floodping.

If you are too lazy to participate in this war, the least you can do is press the following button which will send JayB hatemail...

Please feel free to press this button as many times as you feel neccesary.

May 28, 2000


Alright, another weekend update. Why? Because I can. I'm graduated and I have nothing better to do at the moment than pay attention to the site. Hopefully I can get a few more toys up here, like a discussion board, and maybe a voting topic or something lame like that.

JayB is getting particularily nasty in this Rappablords <-> EJ war. At least I have Dog Pound and Blue4130 on my side, but they have the giant black cat on their side. This could be an interesting war. In fact, today I have decided to post an interview I did with Jay B just a couple days ago.


Thats right, I've finally implemented an online discussion board for rappablords. Feel free to post meaningless rants, accusations and general comments here. I especially welcome any comments about the current war with Extreme Jerks. I encourage anyone and everyone to add at least one message to the board, just because I am curious as to who exactly reads this page.

Don't forget to keep checking back to the site, as it is going through some major renovations currently (now that I have time). Expect an updated archives section, comic section and other goodies as well. Perhaps even a new layout if I get adventurous enough.

May 27, 2000



Well, thats all there is to it. Two years have flown by so quickly so now here I am standing with a diploma and looking for a job. Actually, I'm really in no rush at the moment as I am quite content in enjoying my temporary holiday.

Last night at the awards ceremony for my graduation I was awarded a 'webbie' award. This award wasn't really geared towards rappablords itself, but moreso towards The CST Instructor Cards which gained so much attention back around Xmas time. JayB was awarded an award for being full of himself. Go figure :) Oh yeah, Larmal got an award too.

Memorable Quotes

Jay B: "This banquet is stupid, its just a bunch of old people. I wish I didn't come"

Bryant: "Let smash this bitch Office Space style!"

Larmal: "Did someone say something about guys kissing???"

You know Larmal, I try and support the fact that you are heterosexual but you just don't help me out any...

Dog Pound would like to announce:

"Dog Pound fully endorses the EJ <-> Rappablords war and is on Rappablords side. From now on Extremejerks will be known as Extremejerks.aol.com"

May 26, 2000


What a busy day! First I get slaughtered on a terrible networking exam (terrible because I didn't really study for it and it was harder than usual), then I have to set up for grad all night. 8:00 rolls around and I realize that since I am the M.C. (along with Blaine) I am going to have to come up with some sort of speech. D'oh. Guess this is what you call the last minute huh?

Because of this whole graduation mess I'm not going to have a very impressive update today (sorry) but since school will be officially over, I promise to come up with something good by Monday. I won't be seeing much more of Larmal or JayB anymore in person but the EJ<->Rappablords war shall continue.


Yeah, think about it...

Unit3 forwarded me an article about the new Voodoo5 card form 3dfx. Sounds pretty impressive:

"Basically, at E3, we had a room dedicated to a "challenge". In it we had identically configured WinPC's running our V5 and their GeForce 2. We didn't identify which machine was which. Then we asked all the media in attendance to individually take the challenge and tell us which they'd rather use. Needless to say the answer was V5!!

I think I may just have to pre-order one of these things...

Anyhow, the war between Extreme Jerks and Rappablords is far from over as Jay B has produced another truely horrible comic depicting me having gay sex with JC. He also tried to make some lame excuse for not updating yesterday AT ALL. What a fag. Either way, watch for a comic to appear soon.


Previous 5 Updates